No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
