what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
