I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
