Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
