She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
