I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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