Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
