So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
