just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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