Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
