On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
