im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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