it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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