what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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