It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
