So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
