obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
