She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
