Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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