What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
