"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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