No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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