oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
