last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
