i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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