u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
