I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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