TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
