I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
