I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
