Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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