You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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