shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
