This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize