So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
