I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
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