Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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