Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
