i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
