it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
