obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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