the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
