He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
