your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
