I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
