Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
