Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
