I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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