We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
