I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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