Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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